Super Bowl Blowout: MS 44.6, Yahoo 0

It’s the weekend, kids: time to handicap the BIG GAME.

I give the points and take Microsoft, though Yahoo will give them a real battle in the first quarter.

Huh…what?! Oh, that other game — the one they’re playing in McCain’s state on Sunday. By the way, here are some lyrics to a song I just wrote that Mr. Simon also wrote, I don’t know…30 years ago?

Flip-flopping away, flip-flopping awa–aay…
You know the nearer the destination the more he’s flip-flopping away…

I know a man, wants a hundred years’ war
He got swift-boated by Karl Rove
And then came back for some more.

He says “on good days, you can walk through Baghdad…
When you’re surrounded by a battalion
You can go on flip-floppin’ away…”

Flip-flopping away, flip-flopping awa–aay…
You know the nearer the destination the more he’s flip-flopping away…

All right, all right, the game. Disgusting, isn’t it? I mean, the entire SB culture, not just the media. Unless you’re a corporation, are a prominent tool, pawn, or plaything of a corporation, or run interference for corporations in Washington, you can’t get near this game. You’d stand a better chance trying to interceptTom Brady’s main squeeze.

And then there’s the venue they choose for these things. What’ll it be, 80 or 90 degrees in desert sun there? That’s golf weather, kids, not playoff football weather. It’s one reason why the games are so often lopsided and uninteresting — why nipple-watching or celebrity baiting so often wins out over the teams, the players, the game. Think this game will be anywhere near as thrilling as the Giants-Packers contest last week in sub-zero Wisconsin? I’ll bet you a week’s pay that it won’t come near it.*

But given all that, how might the G-boys make yet another supermodel (not to mention the population of Mitt-achusetts) cry?

First off, and this is admittedly water under the bridge, Plexico (great name!) needs to…um…learn to breathe through his nose — know what I mean, big guy? Leave the prognosticating and crystal ball gazing to highly trained professionals like myself. You just keep your lips zipped and play. After you’ve won and you’re on your way to Disneyworld, then you can talk.

Nevertheless, he should be a factor, having, what, an 8 inch height advantage on the guy who’ll be covering him? Problem is, of course, that he’s got a bad ankle and has missed two practices. And the Pats have multiple weapons of their own.

Bottom line here is that the Giants will have to go all-out, pull every stop, take every risk, get every break, to win this. Their key on defense will be pressure. As Osi Umenyiora said: “you can never hit a quarterback enough times…we’re never going to say pressure isn’t the answer because it always is the answer.” But that Patriot OL is the main reason they’re perfect now, and probably will still be on Monday.

Also, the Giants won’t be allowed any mistakes. They made a couple bone-headed ones in Green Bay and got away with them, barely. And field goals are not going to win a game like this. They will have to get the ball in the end zone every time they cross midfield, because their defense will be juggling too many torches not to get burned for at least 3 or 4 TDs.

Sorry, G’s: this one’s going to be a near blowout: Pats 35, G’s 24. Great season though, both of you.
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*Gotcha — I’m unemployed! You lose even if you win!